Scribing 62 - Alternate realms

I visited some alternate realities in my dreams this morning
Sleeping in a 12 bed dorm
Someone neurotic sleeping on the top bunk next to me, telling me how weird a person is, budging at every movement I make in my slumber
Maybe I fed from her energy

The dreams were vivid and as real as you and me
I experienced about 4 or 5 different realities in different times of my highly sleepless night

Most of them I missed the plane I'm getting on now.
One of them I lent some busking equipment to people and their kids
I fell in love with a beautiful girl
who was trying busking and borrowed something from me
It was a big family meeting,
happy to have me with them
The mall near the train station at Frankfurt was coveted in grass like a great park
it was swampy
Frankfurt was like a little village
I missed the plane, I stressed a bit but I had found good friends, it didn't matter to me so much
But waking up in between and realising where I'd been , I grabbed my phone to check the time, it was 7.45
the plane is at 7.50 I've missed it
oh shit. I'm sitting in my bed
people get up to tell me they can't handle my breathing, I'm breathing too loud
The neurotic lady gets up everytime I drink water or when I grabbed my phone
controlling behaviour

The people move beds around me,
The beds are different than before,
I remember something, it's not like this,
but I let them sort themselves out to get away from my breathing.

Everything but the neurotic lady is an alternate dimension I don't have to exist in

The neurotic lady is actually neurotic and real

I check the time, now actually awake

It's only 4pm

I pretend to sleep and have other slightly vivid interventions, not wanting to disturb the neurotic person

I find them every now and then in hostels, found them in detention centres
people on the last of their wits
and still trying to pretend everything is ok
participating to an extent with this crazy society

eventually my alarm goes off

It's time to get up and catch that plane.

Scribing 61 - Logic

Labels, action, politics
Sit, don't talk, oh he talked
no he didn't
tell the mind he didn't
I'm leaving
it won't matter

Sitting
don't talk, so quiet
voice over lots speaker
deutches lotgen uggen splut
huh?
I'm just spewing Genglish

Everything in place
even chipped things are shiny
neat rows
flower of life beckons

red dove
Angel of death
troubadour of the confusion

mad magick delinquent timing

goodbye Bangkok

German smerman

Red rows, pews, church of the Crimson flower, chosen, Chair of Scrying, action centre, she swore she saw death enter a little saner than before. valuable moment. asset. 

Scribing 60 - Running a society with social inequality isn't easy

We have so many dreams
Not all of them can be achieved in one lifetime
Then we settle for a few
Then we struggle to meet the bare minimum of these few and we siphon it down to just one

Loose cannon
you're a loose cannon
that's what you are
well at least
It's what you've become

Pushing away people left right and center
What can you do?
The desire is to see all the worlds
travel all the paths
it cannot be done while carrying around the energetic influences of this many acquaintances under the false impression we live in an equal society where everyone can be happy

So what do we do?
We say
Fuck the system

And we try with all our might to fuck this system
we use up everything we've got
But we can't stop it because the people that are being fucked by this fucking system want to be fucked by this fucking system
With that much energy going for it
How can you bring out down?

It's not so simple
To run a society, with unequal citizens as subjects
It's easy to assume we can do this well
After achieving said fuck

The fucking world is oblivion
a cancer that eats at life

Now the only way to 'bring it down'
is to do it from the inside
So we go in
Smiling faces wielding
Here we are
We are the fuckers
And we're here to fuck

and hopefully make it out with some skeric of humanity intact within our souls.

I'm going in
conjecture is for dreamers
let's stop dreaming and do

speak speak speak
do do doo

Scribing 59 - Rats are people too

Rats are people too
Pad Thai is delicious
From the street vendor

Straight faced
Money money money.
Set price

Ok ok, peanut
sweet chili
go

Can't sit there
Rats are people too

Only place to sit
In the middle of the round about
there's an elevation
there's bushes in the middle

People sitting, people laughing
eat eat eat
little things from the bushes they come
inspect the terrain
look for food

we're from the Ong tribe, where are you from
I'm just eating
leave me

But you eat in our home
and we have little food

let us pick the crumbs
Ok
you pick the crumbs

little nudge
wobble here and there
no harm done
we're just inspecting
we'll find the crumbs

apparently society is equal

has anyone else cottoned on to this joke? 

Scribbling 58 - Bangkok

Phablet now
No typing

Wandering people
Looking for something
What are we all looking for?

Re-expression of joy
Love
Satiation
Eternal Satiation

Saturation
Desire

Swift type
Ideas
Fusion

Four nights here
The plants wobble in the wind of the incessant fans
It's fucking hot
I've got a bucket of something for cheap

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
We can't get away from ourselves

No not ever.

Blogger app

Give me the answers Google = God

I watch a worried face do what it's always done
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high

Smashing
Herbs, spices, bag
turn twist elastic
next

Serve

Beautiful lady
advertising frog sculpture from wood
serrated edge
stick flick
sound of frog

depressing mainstream song
blah blah
you let her go
blah blah blah

I tried to get sleep at the hostel
But girls wanted talk on room of twelve
where people only sleep
attention?

5pm in the afternoon, justification?

Smile
something is ok
we'll be right.

strange worlds collide with one another
who can control it

everyone only speaks so much English
being understood is a dream
just settle for heart

blahblahblah

sex baby song

fuck the system

Scribing 57 - Sanity in Question

Sample the free love at the open table
He said it, you said it, we said it together
No one person is out of innocence
All the broken people weep

Golden tears
Golden years
A golden age of openness
To all those in question of sanity
New life will form

We eat from the trough of rationed delight
What the previous age left for us was just scraps
We make a kingdom out of scraps
Pan's labyrinth

We do what we do until we are dead
When the magic runs out
The broken people weep
Golden years

Scribing 56 - Doldrum Burdalurm Bunga

Houses need people
Houses need life

The sunset was so splendid this morning
The plants sit and wait for the rise to reach their leaves
Unconditional empathy
The curse that can be a blessing

The cloud that sits above the eyes
Breathing, get that energy moving
Sometimes things are better left unspoken
The intellectual mind cannot be given a place in this future

The listening public wants someone shy and timid
This is the capacity for their ability to receive
Where will you go from here?

The footsteps rattle the floor
The floor boards crack and tackle as the heavy body shifts from one room to the other

Soon we'll all be together forever again
A shower will be in order
A change of clothes, a washing of all things cloth in my bag
A new sowing kit to bring broken things back into workingness

Standard recollection
Transmission feed interrupted
Heavy eyebrow, keep breathing

No wrong, no right
Wandering flicking, frizzing, branches of the weeping peppermint

We only have what we need and then we are off
Fame and fortune are not to be had this life
These are spectres of the imagination
Ghosts of time

Who wants to be a ghost in time
When time is a prison

We live forever by working together
We die in hell by isolation

Balance
Get that balance
It sounds quite simple

The man that cannot sit and wait for the right time to do things
Is the man that cannot sit and wait for the right time to do things

Punchy proverb expected here
Apparition master
Sexy man

Scribing 55 - Practical Singularity

One man
On the event
The glimmer of hope in the distance
The shards of expression fall in a sharp and delightful way

The flat expanse on the eye
Over the edge of the world
Au bout du monde
I return soon

We only have as much as we put in
If hard yards were put in
Then hard yards will be taken out
But the spontaneous arousal of energy from the mire
Can bring unpredictable seasons

The drama queen wants to play
The sun on this wooden table, makes it sticky
In just a few moment I walk through three class lines
Now I'm back to eclectic traveler
Probably french
I started as bum this morning

I have a lot of people tell me my accent sounds french
I take it as a compliment

The expensive hipster coffee lasted nowhere nearly enough
I'll have a jangle of my little instrument before I head for my abbreviation
Into the darkness I go
Out and into the conscious realm
In and out, in and out

Pictures on a landscape
The horizon of time
Every morning a new set
Like photos in a time line

Transcendence

The matrix has you

But what a tired analogy that has become

Sand back the crap and start a fresh
Every person has hidden things that reveal when the day has come

What will we discover about you?

Scribing 54 - Relevant Positivity

Recluse, male, 31, the beach is wonderful this morning
Frisbee, lost, white, 2 years
Grass, authoritarian garden, weeds, rebellion
Seagulls, vultures, gah gah 'gah'
Swish, swish, gentle ocean waves

Coffee, filled with sweet things
A lady gave me a pot of honey yesterday
Karri honey from Pemberton
That's where I went bush after selling everything ten years ago
And the Karri is my favourite tree
My exchange was piano in a public place
A romanian scale
And her familiarity

Green, green grass
Feeling optimistic
Sky, blue
Horizon, smog

Dots of coloured and lighted wonder scatter across the lighted sky

Frisbee, poor lonely frisbee
Who will play with you again?
Upside down, without a home
Where will you go from here?

Has your planned obsolescent time frame expired?

Maybe you'll be picked up again
And your cheap plastic renewed with fresh oils of lavender and myrrh
Maybe you'll see two more days in the sun before your saviour comes

But you're in such a public place
Someone is bound to pick you up

And play like you have been played once again
To be sailing through the air
In parks with laughing children
to be occasionally chomped by a dog that runs off with you and leaves you in the dirt

Is that how you got here this time?
The dog beach is just over there
How will we console you when you plastic is broken?
To what level will we offer our condolences and blessings?
Are you worth the funeral of a feeling living thing?

Are you feeling and living just because feeling living things use you and play with you?

The air is your sense
And sailing you will fly
The earth beneath you as a disc of green radiance
And you hovering just above and snatched in a warm quivering beige hand

Then tossed and again

Oh frisbee...

Scribing 53 - Antonyms for Change

Stasis, static, still, stopped
The kids have gone to school
They've finished their gelatine free yoghurt
The wriggling snake toy sits beside me mangled in a chaos

When it feels like this wave comes in ebbs and flows
Listening to the cockatoos screech and carry on in the morning
It's quite a feast for the ears
The sun has fallen down just low enough
The plants catch their rays

Off on a bus and two trains back from whence I came
Stability can really only be had in breath
We are mangled pieces washed ashore
Sitting around in stasis
Watching the sun rise and fall
Eating gluten free bread
and expensive things for the sake of feeling worth

The cockatoos have subsided
The crows are in town
Their reign now continues on for the next few hours
At least until the sun gets too hot

Each is king of a different time of day
Each aspect of humanity is the ruler of every aeon
In some cycles we suffere
In some we flourish

The ones we suffer are the ones we breath and focus on introspection and pause for relief
The ones we flourish, we flourish and hope to make a world in which all ages are equal
But shit, this addiction to the ups and downs through the ages
That's a hard drug to shake

We power ourselves in the down time
We express our power in the up time
We're locked in as long as we long for power

It's a locked control mechanism

Here comes the turning of the next cycle
The next aeon
We can switch reality channel and find another dimension
Something similar but different
But the ages are secure
The ages do not change

We wander to and fro searching for some sort of stasis
Our stasis is within
Our satisfaction can be self contained
Everything is here
We wander fruitlessly, aimlessly
But love prevails

One day we learn
This endless battle/love with the self
We feed each other
Or we don't eat at all.

Scribing 52 - A man on a giant leash

Where do we go from here?
We've climbed the highest mountain
We've done the most famous things
Now we are at a point
Again
of having to be ordinary

The girl, the one
That stirs up the confusion
Unaware of what she does
But answering the the beck of an entity in the shadows
The emotion to flow is its aim
It knows I can see
But by seeing I acknowledge
And then it is gone again

But I take on this energy
I take it into my body
And it takes days to process it
It can generate quite defensive behaviour
Because I don't have the time or the energy to do anything else

I go through a stage of not be heard
Not being listened
Because my energy is not within the communication
People need a carrot on a stick
Every word is a carrot
Without the carrot but with the action, there is no motivation to comprehend
So words that are said are left out of mind

The birds know source
The plants know source
The cars, even, know source
I sit and I have to process this energy that another has given me
Triggered by a word, an intention

This thing knows when defences are up
And it comes out when defences are down

The world of entity is an interesting place
Feeding on emotion
Guaging and creating a reaction
Keeping the wheels turning
Feeding, feeding, feeding

We the humans just do these triggers on ourselves and each other
While these things they feed
And between us, they get a feast

Then some believe the benefits out weigh the cost
But the entities don't make deals that aren't in their favor
They're not stupid
They're not anyone's slave

That's their right to choose
That's their choice

To think you have the upper hand
Or even that you have control
Is a sure definition of
Stupidity

How long will you fight these things
Until you die?

Then enter another dimension
One where they don't exist
And human behaviour is static

This is the most hated by them
Because they need your skeptical belief in them and their abilities to survive

This article of writing has created a doorway,
Play the game of hierarchies
Where everybody has a daemon
The abilities of the world piled on
Gathered life after life
Then retaught

There will always be a lesser and a greater in this world
This is why it must be discarded

The rulership of hierarchies has gone on for too long.

Scribing 51 - Emergency Mustaches

Kids at the table eating yoghurt
It's vanilla and not natural this is a happy thing for one of them
Remembering birthdays is a hard task
I make excuses as to why we don't need them because of my lack of rememberance

Yoghurt can't be hot
But yes it can,
If you heat it up
Ohhhh!

Talking subject of the table
The man drives the car into the driveway
The sun bleaches the wood veneer floor
We all have to do what we have to do

We don't have to do anything says the free mind
But what is free
And what is the true definition of mind
Keeping up appearances

To some capacity we all have to move
What about these people, or that people in that country
Is that moment here now?
What is real in this moment?

What is felt, what is here
The immediate environment
What can I control?
What should I only observe?

Have you finished your yoghurt?
Pomegranate is the new goo
When guns are made out of wrapped toilet rolls
For the sake of entertainment

Those poor toilet rolls
What can I do
What can be done?
How much control did I assume over my reality?
How much do I actually have?
How much do I pride myself in having on a day to day basis?

What is delusion?
What is real?

What is wanted?

Cardammon coffee.
I can put cardammon in my coffee or not
There that's control
I must keep breathing

I don't have a choice for that

I have a choice over whether I do it consciously or not.

Be-nay-nay

Scribing 50 - Heart Chakra Open Pain

I'm feeling pain in my heart
The world is open
I speak freely and openly
The world speaks reams of backness

Out of the works comes all the prepared treats
Everybody designing something else in the group mind for your favor
Look, look, look
We dare not admit we create it
We just devise, define, and speak and these spells
These magickal rituals we do with our friends of critical talk and cynical blend
They define the world around us, they define us

How far we go into our own rabbit holes and never come back to surface
Why can't I just get along with people without a change
Intellectual predators
We see, we look, we embrace
You take that energy for a time
But then they don't take it back
Or they do

But one bite creates another
Out of the many bites comes injury
And this pain is felt so deep
When the disbelievers bite so hard
Not realising that everything that they do is a creation of what they think

We are in constant control of our reality
Nothing is moving without our awareness

But the scientific world of 'proven' reality seeks to eradicate any trace of this knowledge

I open my heart again and again
And in come the vipers
When will I stop torturing myself
Thinking I can change a person

I get attacked.
And I pay for it
Who am I helping
What for?

What will be achieved by me actually helping them?
Will it be independence or dependence?

When the mind is seen for what it is and how it works
All will be clear
Until then, we'll have protectors of the prison realms
Conditioned from birth as your neighbours

Unconditional love and empathy
Feel the pain and walk through the fire
What choice do we have
Asking for a responsible response to the reality we create everything with the mind
Is asking for a life changing decision at times

The water from the tap tastes like epsom salts.

It happened again
Don't bother with that which does not serve you
Move on

Scribing 49 - Economic Machinery

Blur the lines between community and society
Not to lock down community with money
But to draw out the life within and give it a safe place to be
The system of money is the insanity

One cannot see what one is in, while they are in it
We must get outside and do that thing to see outside of where we are
And by doing this, discover what can be different
Our hearts and lives are in our own hands

How often we shine and are not appreciated
How often our words fall on the defences of deaf ears
So we take down these walls
And we get everybody in

And together we make the change
Into and beyond and better than anything that has ever been before
Because fear is not needed
Money is not needed
Conditioning is not needed
People can be trusted
And by trusting, we show we can be trusted
The world is what we put in
People are what we put in

We get out what we put in
There is no end to our potential
We are the dawning of the new era
We are the future and the first and the last
We are all that is, and all that ever is

This is the new doctrine
Free yourself
Rise with the flames and open doors to infinite temptation

We are one

Scribing 48 - Biodiversity

If you want to create enemies.
Stand out.
If you want to make no friends
Don't

Where is the compromise
Fuck compromise
Do what you want
Be what you can

Many people try to block the path
Envy can cause such great obstacles
But passion overrules envy
Most involved in their pursuit of power don't see that passion overrules power

When narcissism is seen as a disease
When the greater mass of people really see it
I suppose that's just what it is
We do what we can with what we have until we are dead

When you've done the offensive thing
You've soloed too much
The world will seem against you
But remember
There is nothing left but to keep on going
Don't put up your walls for the benefit of the vampires to keep you from gaining ground

Keep them down
Show them all that pain means nothing
That life is found in everything
We have no change in what we are but in how we behave

Stand still and know I am god
Everybody has their little piece of freedom tucked away within themselves
The rules are there to be broken
I'm not making any money off this
To assume that I am is, ha, a big joke.

I'm a big joke
And that's what's so funny about it.
We're all big jokes
We're all laughing mad

Yes, I did it for advertising
No I don't have an ego
You won't believe me right up until the very end
Because it will need blood to seal it true

Then all the house of cards will come tumbling down
The death of the man that stands tall is the saviour of the world

We get out of people what we put into them.
We get out of people what we put into them.

We all collectively create our reality
Everything is a closed circuit of cause and effect
We create with our emotions
We create with our fears

Did I sing too many political songs?
I'm terribly sorry
I'll sing less reality and more fluff for you in the future
You'll be dancing in no time
Because I know how to make people dance.

And you're a dancer.
The best of them all.

Scribing 47 - Blunt Knives

How to start to stop?
How to be real with what you have?
Every piece of the puzzle is there to be fit together
Every last emotional conduit sits ready to be joined in correctly

The sun rises from the gloom
The bright moon has been keeping guard all night
The cold air harasses the hands at they type
The door was left open last night
A crime?
No it was deliberate

When everyone else and the world is the blame
You are to blame
And who wants to face themselves
When the dragon has been fed to get so big

How many years have I been feeding this dragon?
Since I was 9
My first complete Saturnian cycle
And in this hidden world I fed a dragon
Something to be taken out on all in the future

And the life around me in my family
Fed the dragon
All was food for the dragon
The dragon incited more reasons to be fed
And the dragon got fed more

It's all one thing, I see it now
But how long it has been like this?
Twenty two years.

A self-defence mechanism

Twenty two years of dragon feeding
How big is a twenty two year old dragon?
Was it a baby since birth or was it an inter-dimensional traveler latching onto my need to feed something
Since nine

Nine and Twenty Two
Powerful numbers

An inter-dimensional traveler looking for fuel for his ship
Found through my essence a core to power on
And in this, I have acquired many interesting and unexplained talents
Because the share is almost as one being
The body is a portal and through this portal the world beyond can be seen

The physical is such a small place
The rest is so massive
Nothing can compare in our world to the enormity of the reality beyond the physical.

The physical universe is such a small part of the greater whole
And our physical lives are so insignificant in the grand scheme of things
If anything bigger takes interest in our affairs
It's more a case of delusion on our part, and the creation of it with our minds

Because the 'bigger-that-is-out-there' has no place here, no interest here, nothing can be harmed elsewhere if all goes to shit here
Everything here is a tiny expression of something so minimal
Some say we are a quarantined area
But this is also delusion

Delusions of self-importance

We are not important

And that's just it, we create our own universe, being such a speck in great grey sea
We create our own delusions, we physicalise them
We manifest everything we touch our minds to in time
All comes out in the eventuality of what is kept hidden
Nothing is secret

Time and physical and this dream world so to speak (another delusion but a convenient one to reference)
It's a nothing
We don't exist

We exist as much as we believe ourselves to exist
And if we were to disappear
Nothing would change

Significant
Individual
Unique
Powerful

Delusions.

To understand real reality outside of what is physical
Simply divulge self

Scribing 46 - Shift

Yes, the world is changing
No, running around with your head cut off won't do
Yes you are still alive
No, death isn't something to be feared

Dogs, neighbours, barking and politics
Why do people get dogs?
Love, company, for the children,
Protection, be like the Jones', as a motivation to do more exercise
To be more in touch with the animal kingdom

What is changing in this world?
People, people people
The minds are changing
The perception is changing
Fear as a system of control has been hyper-activated
Now the repercussions

The sun still rises
The clouds pass over slowly
The trees are green
Coffee is bitter

I've almost done all my jobs for this sitting
I've learned something rather basic
Nothing gets done while sitting around doing fuck all thinking about what needs to be done
And regardless of the mountain of work, it's all possible and it can all be done
One piece at a time

Here comes the sun
Isn't it beautiful
Piercing my eye

Cleaning windows is equal to keeping opportunities open
I like that one, it's certainly good motivation to keep windows clean
I've always had trouble with keeping them clean, up until now

Keep the world open and at your doorstep at all times
And the world it says, come on right in.

And then random long hairs grow in your eyebrows
And this makes sense how.

The night is dark and full of terrors
But the day, the day is coming and filled with love

Scribing 45 - Criss-crossing metal parts in a mechanism of life

The sounds of the cars, trucks and buses
Reverberate into the amphitheatre of a small cafe
At times I have visualised waves in the ocean coming and going
A gentle sea breeze fills the air and the sun pervades the shadowless atmosphere

I've got my bag of money
My little geetar and my hipster chai latte
Was it made with almond milk? Is it genuinely hipster?
Or is it just hipster-esque

This is a question that plagues my mind constantly

The excitement of a day fills my heart
Suddenly everything is positive and full of flavour
Like the stars have suddenly arranged themselves in a way,
favourable to my particular besodden frequency

We can all be happy together I tell them
Community can work
We just need to trust and let go
And share everything

Like we do now but with less reluctance, or insecurity
Ha, we australians have so much and share so little
Hard times are coming for all not just one or two
When they hit these shores the pain will be felt worst where those that have little have no conditionings for sharing

Sharing, sharing, sharing
So many live in each other's pockets
In poorer countries, in countries where there are shared afflictions like cold cold winters
In countries where depressions have been experienced a level of community still exists in the subconscious

A knowing, a loving, a 'we can work it out together' because 'we're in it together' and 'exile and threat of death' just is not practical for the procurement of a happy loving community where we are all happy

I know it sounds like soppy bullshit
But it's true
It's real
And the idea that we have succumbed to 'the bad', 'the dark', that we are 'afflicted' that we are somehow 'individuals' and 'unique'
Are conditions we have placed on our behaviour because we have the luxury to do so
in a well oiled money run society that we have not had to scrape away at the bottom of the barrel for our living

So, yes, it is my opinion and prediction, for a large part, Australians will have it hard later on
There will be accountability for our inabiility to share our abundance

And if the government is making decisions for us on our behalf that we have no control over
An elitist group of politicians sucking off the life energy force of the people
Then we need to make this democracy, not just a namesake but a reality
As the people, we move as one and defeat ignorance first

Then move forward and create a framework for people living on the same land that serves all the people living on it.

---

There are certainly times when life is meaningless
That the absurd is king

This is a defence mechanism by myself to protect against the insanity of society
I can't change everything
But I can change
What I can change

And if I do what I can do
Then as I go, others may do the same

I start splashing and in time the whole pond will be raging in waves

Scribing 44 - The man with the giant hat

Watching the ether wobble
The certainty of reality is not so certain
The feeling in my body
Like a glazed spreading warmth

Not quite here
Somewhere else maybe
Need someone close to bring me down
To grab the string attached the ballon and tie me to a tree again

How I hate being dependent on other people
How much pain I've caused myself through isolation
We are inter-dependent but there are certain things we must do alone
Little pieces of identity I rediscover every now and then
Useful for a time and then I throw them away

Sometimes they return to me and I wear them for a while
Then I throw them away again
The clothing I wear and the shirts I retain through all of my wanderings is just one obvious physical example

The scarf, from a girl who didn't want me for a french ex-lover who was returning to town in Maidstone
The jumper I was given from a friend which is black, woolen (natural fibre) and long sleeves
Fitting all my criteria, from a bag of donated clothes to a squat/ community centre which was
largely dysfunctional, but I retain this piece of cloth for a time
The jacket from an army surplus store in Angers in France, I got it preparing for the snow in Ireland
But snow never came.
These black jeans from some op-shop somewhere, someone else's story attached
Socks given by a person I don't want to speak to at this time, due to a clash which has left a bitterness
And no undies to commemorate my hippiedom and my rights to the realm of free thinking
A punkish, poppy hair do, which I gave myself in Belfast which is slowly growing out and each day I look a bit more hippy

The teeth which are much harder to change than clothes or hair, chipped at the front from falling on a spinning play thing in a playground when I was little and then again from swimming into a wall, and the stains that cover the teeth which are a residue of the capping that was put on but the stains have got in underneath...
These too are pieces of identity that can be thrown away at the click of a button.
Teeth whitening and a good mouth job should do the trick

Identity is erroneous in a world of purpose
We propose to do something but we get in the way
Little pieces of somethings that nicker at the soul.

But then again, a memory is just a memory,
Character if not this, would be something else, and how is that different?
Cloth is just cloth
And tooth enamel is just tooth enamel in whatever colour or form it takes

This importance on identity we place
Is the value put on something that will never last

A purpose lasts longer
The moment lasts forever

If I commit to something outside of this body
That I will do regardless of vessel
Then that I will do
And whatever identity or pieces of self I put on for a while
Are only ever, can only ever be temporary

This clinging to identity is an endeavor to make the self into an eternal inanimate ornament sitting on the wall of time, trapped in a single shell

What a gloomy doom that would be

So why can't we tolerate change of identity midway through life in society?

Without a box to put you in
The misunderstood can not be understood
And this is a key ingredient for fear

We must let go of everything we have ever known to move forward
We must divulge or take on whatever aspect of character necessary to achieve our purpose
This is all there is

Scribing 43 - Dreamings of a lonely man

What is here
What is in this moment?

The birds, cockatoos I think
A whole flock of them, screeching and carrying on in bits and pieces
The wind, it flows the ocean of cloud above, the clouds move at such a pace
Where as if the same perceptual speed was mimicked by a person that was close
It would be creepy

Thus the clouds creep

The trees beckon the morning
A well tended garden of a friend, a sanctuary, filled with self
A place to be away when it all gets too much
They all just want to have fun
Have fun, eat, drink, die

This seems to be it
Is anyone really any better off for having a better head start in this system of money
The bamboo is looking a bit drab
What's caused this malfunction

The seats sit beside me, barstools around a high table as though they are expecting someone
Or as though they are people themselves, independent of people to sit on them
Thus self aware seats
They sit in a corner, possibly never to be sat on but they look conscious to me

I dreamed of the most wondeful sexual fantasy
And I'm starting to believe maybe I'm possessed
I had a cult leader tell me thiis once
I wasn't sure then if it was information meant to pry me to his purposes
As I am not sure now,
But this man is dead
There is no more purpose to pry towards, self interest can no longer be the key motivator
If the man is dead

How long will we be around for
...

The light changes outside
The clouds with a different glow have found their way in front of the sun
It will change again very soon
I love this tumultuous weather
It suits my temperament, helps me to think straight

There is no need for your defences here next to the River dear prince
The river is a place of community and sharing
The wind hurls the small loose branches of a weeping peppermint back and forth like the hair of a rag doll

Letting the flow come
Letting the flow go
Letting the flow enter the soul
Everyone is within
Everyone is without

Nothing is holy
Nothing is right
Everything is one thing

And then the rain it pours.
Each droplet like a lake
And then it stops.
Then the sun comes,
then the morning is heralded for a brief moment
Then the weather proceeds with its tumult.

Then the wind roars and claims ownership of the realm of sound
Yes, the wind is king
Because with it, we can hear no more

All hail the wind,
All hail the king

I love tumultuous weather
I love to observe the ebbs and the flows.

Scribing 42 - Leaving the past behind

I still feel this neck stronghold here
These defences so high
So high as to keep out everyone
What is safe? Who is safe?
Who is a threat?

Where is the threat?
Look for one and you'll find it
Oh little man walking around with your head walls so high
Who do you protect from?
Where is the threat but within yourself?

How can you protect yourself from the threat of isolation?
Of the character you've become and will become by isolating yourself from everything and everyone
With your giant glass walls that protect you from everyone
What mummy put the need for these walls into you so strong

Won't you let your guard down and sing a song
Let people in
Show yourself out of the crystal palace you've been hiding in so devout
Feel pain if it comes but don't expect it

Keep those walls down and down and down
Never throw them up again
Stop trying to protect from something, you've got no proof that it exists
You're protecting for the sake of protecting
Let your guard down and have a look

See what happens
Are you the reason the world's guard is so high?
What have you done? That should be the question.
You have to teach by example and let your guard down
Then the world will follow.

If you have to be killed for this, then so be it
Life continues and you continue in other forms
Life in a crystal palace of walls is no life at all
Let the walls down, walk from your stronghold
See what the world has to offer, in the freedom of love

It sounds corny but there it is
There isn't any other way to put it so succinctly
The world has defended itself against love
Well bring down the walls and let love in.

Scribing 41 - Parlour Punishment

Tackle the mountain
If you walk far enough you'll get over the mountain
And then it won't be in front of you anymore
So just keep on walking

The ticking clock and the gurgling fridge keep time for me
In a most delicate fashion
The glow of the orange light fills the air
In the distance a stairway can be seen

I have my coffee and once again
I have my space to myself
The times I stress about not having my space to myself
And the amount of times I find myself in the middle of space dedicated to myself

Is uncanny

I will always have what I need
This is a given
I do not have to be concerned with this
The spirit of the world has given me this gift

I keep doing what I do
I know everything I need is provided
It's not a license to sit back and freeze on it
It's a licence to jump out of the box frequently and try new and exciting ways of testing my reality

Maybe one day the walls will be paper thin
And I'll slip right on through to another dimension
We won't know that day has come unless we have a habit of testing constantly
Maybe one day the world will turn upside down and the stars will sit below the feet and the sun will be a fish in the ultimate ocean called infinite space

But until that day comes
I cannot know it will come

Things change just by watching them
We change when we don't watch ourselves

Addiction to starlight
Addiction of the weather that comes and goes
Addiction to growth and green and light and sounds

Addiction to density, to reality, to life, to love

The men sit on the parlour shelves ready for service
As the drooping gods come wandering down into the shop of ignorance
Pick me, says the suited man, I'll be your joy and pride
But no, the drooping gods want another child this time

The same run of the gun man as before in a black suit and a bowtie will not do this aeon

"We've had enough of you," and waves him on into the ether to be dissolved and reborn in the cycle of eternity

"We're looking for something more like you," pointing to a man slightly resembling a hipster with dreadlocks
Neatly patted down and a colourful bandanna.
We're going to mass produce little pieces of you
And place you all over the cosmos

Then we'll blame this infection of sterile hippy freedom on the new coming age of aquarius
You know, that damn movement in the stars all the new age bumkins are raving about

New age. What a whirl
Nothing is new, but new to some
Each cycle is like a washing machine
A new piece of dirt is introduced each time
And a new piece of golden thread is extracted

But not always, and this doesn't matter because the process cannot be rushed
It just takes time

Then there's the regulars
The ones who get in the wash every time the speed cycle up to 90 degrees is set
The Platos, the Bowies, the Beethovens and the Teslas.
They've been playing this little game of time for a while

You could say they're addicted to it
Like a man with his hand on a cock
pressing and pulling over and over again
And I don't excuse my crudeness
Because I can't think of anything more accurate to relate this to

We'll just get on with it then.

Where are you then?

Are you a safe spectre in the corner, something unknown and unseen but here every cycle
Or are you the stick in the wind to try and prove the cycles of humanity wrong
We like to test the walls, see how far we can push the barriers

No one knows, maybe one day they'll give

But until then, we'll just keep on testing

Hoping this prison of time is not infinite....

But the journey, the journey is the freedom and the goal of freedom is the illusion

But it takes a dark sardonic old man to realise that

And maybe that's what we're all becoming slowly
In this game of time
Dark sardonic old men
To stop fighting, to stop testing
And just do the journey thing without any qualms because that's all there is

There is no beginning, there is no end unless we search for it
There is only the inbetween the inbetween
The journey of journeys
The life within the life

And this life has no boundaries because the boundary is there only as a requirement to keep men inside a game
A park for lions and tigers and deer and fawn.

But introspectively, we are already at our destination
We are already here

Scribing 40 - In the end, we're all equal

From birth comes death
From life comes life
From death comes life
In death, we are all equal

The sun beats down on an unkempt garden
Beautiful in many ways but not in an organisational capacity
Which is funny enough
The organiser of such a garden is an organiser type

For some we only control completely what we can control completely
Then the slipping away of the rest of the world goes to its chaos
But the little pockets of order
Are driven by a need, an urge, to make things more and eternally perfect

The fruit sits in the bowl in front of me, in the middle of the table
Two apples
Two nectarines
Two bananas
Two avocados

The circular and oblong fruits are grouped in an arrangement of six
The bananas sit beside this grouping of six, in a splayed out but cozy fashion
Someone deliberately placed this fruit in this bowl
And a new order will emerge with the removal of one its members

The breeze comes through the house
The workmen making clanking noises in a construction site can be heard every now and then
The running of tap, the chopping of vegetables
The gurgling of an old fridge, kept past its time

The birds have their say
The crickets too
The colours in the spectrum are red, wood browns, beige and deep greens
In a painting of many people, smiling dosily as if they were all stoned

Everyone has a place
No one is left without
We all do what we do, feeling important because we are the group each one of us
And each small group within that is not joined with another is a potential whole of another group

Am I doing enough?
Am I helping enough?
Is things ok with me?
What does it matter?

The erratic thoughts that cloud the brain
Bringing me away from the moment
My company has a similar infatuation with the incessant wrapping at the window of the mind
So in a sense, the greatest test is before me
But also the greatest blessing

Time to practice my craft
Get my scales on
Move through the barrier of time and learn things for my body to repeat over and over again

Into the day and beyond

The races are on today
The men and women will shout and scream as horses run around a track
Many will drink and bet money
And this is the thing that we do

We drink and we bet money
Until we are dead

And then we do it all again.

What a life.

Scribing 39 - Strong sun finey day

Here in this apocalypse of the morning
Where the sun comes to call for just a second,
Then the rain comes with avengance
Then the clouds, the wind, the trees swish and the hammocks hang

This semi-model of an apocalypse
The turmultuousness of it all
We all just go about in our business
Continue, continue, continue

Nothing changes
Apocalypse is coming
Oh no bother, just continue as you were
Apocalypse is here
Oh no bother, just continue as you are
Apocalypse has come to take your life and your values
Oh, we'll replace them with new ones, we'll find another way to experience life,
There will be a way on the path you will see

Nothing changes
But everything is changing constantly
The tent of was warm
The sun, in its little spurts is scorching
But that's just Aussie sun.

Things are changing all around
The world is changing
Those that have ears let them hear
Those that have eyes let them be aware of what is to come

By now the trust in yourself should be complete
And if not, you'll learn quick in the turmultuousness of the apocalypse
or you will die fighting like a warrior, dieing a warrior's death

To wake up in another algorythm of the apocalypse
In another time, in another place
The world and its values are shifting
The times are changing
The dimension we currently inhabit is having its cyclical rebirth

We will change
And change forever
To change again
Into something else resembling change
to return to something we were before
In the cycle of nines
We draw inspiration from nature and from every living thing outside of our control

We watch the stars constantly to hope the shift moves our light in our favour
We prepare for doom when we see it and we do not convince ourselves that the doom is not coming
For the sake of an easy comfort

How we fearlessly face fear
We the remnants of the apocalypse of nines
We are the true born saints
And into this realm we transform towards a new millenia

Scribing 38 - Quantum Entanglement

The girl form the room eats her yoghurt and honey
Scraping the edge of the bowl with precision
Taking little pieces of the edge of the blob that is her breakfast
Slowly consuming as an animal first using a spoon

The wall is filled with designs
Patterns repeat
A rose, a flower, a cat tail
Some leaves

The little chickens arouse from their morning
All the hustle and bustle is getting them hooked on the idea of attention again
The wind it comes
The trees they sway

The air stays warm

This body has fast moving blood
The coffee, sweet and bitter

This is something I've been doing for years
And to have someone so close question what and why and how
To impose an authority on it, as though I need their approval to continue
Then not to receive the approval entirely

Well I find that slightly offensive. Don't you

Or quite possibly this whole excursion is in my head
And I should just do what I do
And not regard what is around me
Not be so empathic

Just be me

What is me?
With such a big gaping hole in my soul that can filled with anything

My voice is very gentle
I've noticed how people react to a different tone of voice
A gentle tone
I'm naturally gentle at this moment

We aren't logical
To assume that human's behave logically is a grave error

She has to read her apple book tonight
This is apparently of key importance

I love myself
Love yourself
Everybody today, practice the moment and enjoy yourself in love

Nothing can move me from love.

Scribing 37 - Sanctity

The sun beats down on my skin
Hoping to fit its needles of light into my dry stone corpse

There's always a token chainsaw
Someone with a power trip
Someone pretending like they're doing something useful
While they disturb the peace

Yes, it's true
Sometimes chainsaws are necessary

How precious it is to have your own piece of land
In a reasonable quiet place
Spread out, not too affected by people from other realities

How much this world has pushed us away from each other
Our community spirit
Should be so hard and strong

I used to be so angry
I am still at times
But anger has proven to achieve very little productiveness

Anger seems to be the raw energy from which things are made
Not much intellectual thought, at least not an entire spectrum
Can be had while in anger

If you  want someone to talk to
Talk to a tree
Fall in love with tree

When did we make it strange to speak to ourselves
Because it is not equal
Even if you were speaking to something
A person that is near cannot participate
And it is divisive
What is unequal is divisive

Like two people speaking another language in front of a bunch of people that speak something different

Secrets cannot be kept
What is perceived to be achieved through keeping and maintaining secrets is largely an illusion

Everything has a place though
We can toss and turn in bed and stress and strain about everything the world is doing
or what other people are doing
And the world stays the same, the people stay the same

The perspective does not change
Everyone is the same
Everyone is the same

The self chooses different pathways of perception and therefore chooses how reality is created
Perceive light or perceive dark
The common denominator is perception

Selective expression of portions of perception when you can see much more than just one perception
Now that is the definition of being a god amongst sheep

Because the choice of expression, based on the perception you choose to highlight
Creates what you want within the world of thought
Use your powers for good

Let's return to community
Let's see everything as community again

Community is our sanctity

Our precious piece of healing possible for everyone

Community is the answer to all of human's problems

Isolation both inside and out, is the cause

Scribing 36 - Passionate Wednesdays

The sun hit's the leaves from an angle
I can't see the sun
So they give audience to something invisible
Captivated, giving their direction
As much as a tree can give

I want to use facefuck
I want to be the most popular man in the world
With lots to say and do
And a million likes to see, and comments to reply
Every time I look at my screen
Every five minutes

My neck is less tense than before
I've got to love people
I can't go on hating people or holding grudges
I want to love them


Say what you need to politely without anger
it's easy
Not always is everything so clear
Give people the benefit of the doubt
Even people I might be convinced are rocking the boat with the intention of rocking that boat

Boats are boats and they rock
But yes the analogy is not complete because we can do what we like
We can also live in a world where peace and contentity exist and there are no boats, no ocean, and no rocking
And it's not an invitation for a hater to call it boring
It just is what it is

Here I am at the desk of some home that some individuals are starting a community within
Watching plants is like watching people
We all slightly change and grow

So much raw food out there today
So much waste retrieved to be used again
There is no limit to what we can do together

Many of us need healing
Time loops to come around and around
I don't want to feel pain any longer than I have to

Trust people more
Love people more
Open up to them
Be more kind

Love yourself
And through this, learn to love others.

We all want what we want
We all do what we do

Scribing 35 - The Death of Motive

There aren't many cars on this road
But the one's that do come
Reverberate through the entire house as if to deliberately amplify them
When there is a motorbike
It is an experience

I'm still feeling a little closed
That conflict in the night really set me off
How hard it is to deal with emotion as it comes
Not to spill it onto anyone else in other ways

But to get it out as it is
To be around people that care about me
So they wish to listen and feel the pain that I feel
Which helps make it go away

For so long I've bottled up
And felt this thick skin crawling out of my inner being
This untouchableness
This numbness

I don't wish to be this numb thing anymore
I want to feel
I want to care about others
I want to be happy

In order to stand we must do what is in front of us
One day at a time
One breath at a time
Not expecting a mountain loud

But having the time and the space to sit with someone and just let them say what they want to say
Actually being interested in what they are saying
I experienced this for the first time coming back

Part of it might have been the energy of return
But I felt I was battling projections of my past put onto me by others
And to let them slide like water off a ducks back
I simply had to breathe and be who I am

Just like now.
Who am I now?
Am I my emotion which I keep bottling up?
Am I any of these thoughts which are running through my head?

I don't want to be any of this.
I want good friends around me
I want to feel loved by all
I want the closeness of community

For so long I wanted the world to die

Not anymore...

Thank you Ireland, Thank you France, Thank you Scotland, Thank you all the people on my travels
I love you and I'm grateful for your contribution to my awakening
It is time to be awake
And I love being alive

I want to continue like this forever.

I still feel the nickling at my soul
But I see a path like I did once before
It is clearer this path for me now
I want to know myself better
I want to be in concert with everyone else
On a railway of love.

Scribing 35 - Anxiousness

I feel the neck tumbler come for a time
I feel it hover
Up the spine in the neck
Blocking blood

I focus on touch
I focus on my feelings of who I am
I breathe and focus on that

The immediate environment, the birds, the trees, the traffic, the chai, the very big loud noisy truck, the bicycle
Bring it all here
The camera, they are watching, someone somewhere, or something
Oh well

I returned to this time of the week with just the right amount of money to finish with a chai this morning while I wait for my busking slot
I'm pretty proud of this foresight
This precognitive assimilation

The ticket home
The chai
And back to zero.

Earning again in exactly four hours and five minutes and 26 seconds
Four hours of no money
Will I despair in fear
Will I reside in pain
I've still got a chai
For the moment I'm fine

So, say I last an hour here if I stretch it.
I could really stretch it and piss off the cafe staff...

The library should open soon
The park is always open
The sun is out
The birds of paradise still shoot their wings

Everything is going to be ok
In this period of four hours of moneylessness

Please don't get me wrong,
I've done it before for much longer
And with a little less cognitive planning

I've arrived in a random town in france
With no money
Not knowing I was going to be there, hitching a ride north was my aim generally
And I was faced with a decision

Open up
Or stay closed

Closing meant, finding a hole to crawl into
Opening meant taking advantage of what opportunities I've got and talk to people

I found a place to play music within the hour, I earned thirty euros from that
I found a place to stay with some other street musicians
First it was dinner
But in a flat of exactly 6 x 5 metres squared and five people already there
They didn't want to send me to stay in a park and camp
Which was safe and possible at the time
So I stayed there too, crammed in but quite content

And I stayed for a while
Hosted by their host when they left

All this opportunity because I remained open
Because I made the choice to let down my defences and speak to people

Connection is so very valuable
Isolation has its place
But really, humans need humans

People need people

Scribing 34 - Unconditional Sharing and Vulnerability

When the demon asks for you to play
The triggers are the same as they've always been
It's the fact that you've presented yourself openly
When the demon walks right in

Never be dependent on another physically
Always find a way to be independent
The world is a dangerous place full of dark terrors
Love and unconditional love, exist but are rare

Be open to change, be open to love
Be open, but not by force.
It certainly is difficult when you open up
and the first friend that you thought you trusted takes a righteous liberating swing

We quickly divide the wheat from the chaff
Remember not to take it all so seriously
The world is changing quickly
Life is changing quickly

To be truly unconditional in your sharing means being open
It means being vulnerable
It means being open to attack to those that would attack
And no one can stop every attack

No matter how high their defences

Take basic steps to steer clear of obvious situations
But seek to trust more and more people in a group or community setting
It's so hard at times, yes, I agree
But without this depth to the difficulties there would be no reward like we have so long enjoyed

I love you earth,
I love you night,
I love you sky
I love you hate
A need to justify
Where did it go wrong?

The crow caughs in my ear loudly reminding me of some long lost secret

There's a power within the human, passed on by trauma
In this trauma we recreate experiences of the past within other humans
Allowing for more trauma
Chances to change, we get so many

I don't want to be this angry being anymore
But this demon has invoked me so well
And I fell for the bait and got out

To think that I can help people
This is probably the crux of the issue
Then in a moment of complete vulnerability on a day I think I'm getting somewhere with them
Out comes the knife in a most unexpected way

This time I exploded
I was an atomic bomb
I screamed in their face
While they took the power trip of me losing control in

Never again, never again, I said.
Never again, what?
I say to myself now.

Never again will I go out of my way to help people
Because I feel like I can
Because I feel obligated to do so
Because I can see why they are experiencing so much pain and want to show them

Because everyone of these people are like that for a reason
And their own choices on their own path,
Choosing to follow whichever demon's whisper
Is their choice

And I cannot change a cause by alleviating the symptoms.
The cause being a core decision to never change

I don't want to be this angry thing anymore
I don't want to be so well defended like I have been

So many have defences against me
I open myself up and someone cuts me deep

I must at least expect it to a degree
Should I
And this expectation leads to creating what I expect
Because every judgement and expectation and moral law
Is a doorway in for the other's shoulder phantasm to cuss

How to remain clean and enjoy life
How to keep the energy high without losing it in defences against people that have made their choices

I'm so scared.
I've never been so scared in my life
I enjoy what I've come back to
I enjoy what I am now because I have become much more open

I can speak about people's lives and actually have interest
Without having to plan how to get out of the conversation
I'm actually interested
I've never been like this, unless I'm drunk
And I'm not drunk

I don't want this situation to close me up again
Please God, keep me open
I want to feel pain
But I want to deal with it better

I want to experience life
Real life
Real happiness
Help me in my chains, I need to feel you are there.

I love myself,
I adore myself,
I love life,
I adore life,
I love this earth
I adore this life
I love this person
I adore this person
I love this sun
I adore the sun
I love the trees
I adore the trees
I love people
I adore people.

There was a time when I wanted everyone dead through some selfish judgement of human behaviour
As the only way out for the planet or humanity

Now I see there is a way
There is an underlying culture of sharing
Within everyone of us
And we can all attach to that
And bring it back

There is the choice.

To share unconditionally without conditions
Well that's what that means.

Scribing 33 - Return

Impatient fiddlings dominate the morning
Four am again, it's becoming a thing
Lots of morning time to do lots of things in the morning
The clock on the wall marches forth on second at a time

Time stops for no one

The wind breaks through the trees outside as a plane makes an airish hover through the upper cloud strata
A pipe clatters every now and then
For whatever reason, maybe a bad childhood
It requires continues and consistent attention

Now the present distractions are down,
I continue

It's ok to open up
It's ok to be who you are
It's ok to feel pain
It's ok to love yourself

It's ok to be angry
It's ok the cry

Blocking these things and putting up fences on your behaviour
Have caused you so much grief

The whole, I'm something I'm not thing
Wasn't really working out for you
And now that you have gone around and departed and returned on an 11 year time loop
It seems the opportunities to continue with the original dreams are more clear and more fantastic

Great responsibility comes from seeing much
Great experience dictates a level of sight, into many things
Honest introspection helps to purify these visions
And continueing doing what you do, solidifies intention

Get the cup of tea, Dilmah
Get it
It's coming , the T, it is coming

It's coming, the over purified water is boiling, wait

Scribing 32 - Detained

A couple of days before detainment on the 28th of the 2nd:

I feel alone by the fire
Nowhere to go
Still searching, still looking
Who would know

I have reams, I have thoughts, I have doubts
Where is the road paved with gold
I, the last little child, with the fancy shoes
Lost my home

Breathe in, breathe out, there you go

The sky knows where you want to go, Fly to it
The lord knows where you want to go, be with him

28/02/2017 (On first being detained in Belfast I was told I could only be held at Larne for three days maximum)

Ambitious, that's one word for it
Hopeful? But that's not quite right either
3 days of forced solitude
In sterile rooms
with sterile walls
and sterile food
and sterile entertainment

I've got a single book
Every hour there is a welfare check
Make sure that you're well and fare
Check to see you haven't harmed yourself
You the product
You the commodity
to be returned to the place you were born
for reassignment

Continue
take a sip of your favourite strong imaginary drink
Pretend intoxication
Thank Ireland for her graces
Thank you Ireland for your graces
My life is a poetry
and I'm being detained and sent home
by the same imperialism
That has tortured you so hard
For so long

Thank you Ireland for your love
Don't weep for me in here
Just be what you are
Love yourself so
Thanks a million
It was grand, I had good craic.

...

I touched the sky
It set off an alarm
And an attendant came to make sure
I did not escape

I read trash fiction like a scientist
Trying deep to squeeze out some substance

The light switches off every ten minutes automatically
So I get some light exercise
and a reading break

Will I remember what I am now?
As good information by which
To change my behaviour

4 days here, 7 days there, one day flying
Lots of explanation
saving, saving, saving
Go again

Remember this one thing
If nothing else
I can learn from everything

Please dear god don't let me get stuck in the land down under.

01/03/2017

The end, the end, the end is nigh
A lovely bountiful, beautiful feast
Inner turmoil, Inner conflict
I can push it all out for this moveable feast

The plan to end the world is fabulous
Every drip drip drip is falling like warm blood
off a freshly cut wound
Keep the mind busy
that's the big thing

The dark density of my brain
falls to the floor
I don't belong in Australia
I must get out of Australia
Again the scramble to escape from hell
Work hard every day, move on

I sit in my stone cell
Hoping for some nibbles of interest
I'll go back to reading
I have four days here to do reading

You think you've got it bad
Coming from where you came
And where will you go?
Going to where you go?

Trapped, the pattern that is me
Stop fighting it, no escape
Do what you can with what you've got
everything I do is poison,

then poison the demon's water.

05/03/2017

Happiness is simple
Depression is complicated

Click to Enlarge

06/03/2017

One more day and a half
In the jail called detainment
I stare out the window
Nostalgia sets in
Because beyond the razor wire fences
I can see the makings of an english forest
I lived in the forest once
A fellow detainee has a loud music device
He seems to think we all enjoy modern pop
Who cares really
It's expression
We've been locked up for the night
Like little children
And then we're free
The unlocked door, says we're free
free to associate with other detainees
Free to get some breakfast
That's the definition of freedom right now
It changes from moment to moment
Locked up regularly for a role
The sun outside gives me joy
People in and out of detainment
for no apparent reason
Immigration are bullies asking to see the same thing over and over again
The forest outside, I cannot go there
Don't go to a new country for a new life
We live a lie here, you've soon discovered
Stay where you are and change what you are
from where you are - simple

Return to your hometown
And wreak havoc amongst the stars
Shake the ground
And let the world know
You are here

Do not run any longer
Do not be a coward
You must face the truth

Be what you are
Where you are
I know it's hard
And it's easy for me to say
But, change what you are
Where you are

Stand and do not be moved

...

The meaning of life is to keep the mind busy

The makings of the sigil designs

06/03/2017

Living in a detention centre
in many ways
Is just like living in the homeless centre in Sydney
three meals a day, lining up a queues with despondent men
Getting locked in at night
Except in the detention centres
I don't get the luxury to venture out into a thriving mono-culture
Keenly observing insanity in progress
Pressing my cold hands on the cold glass
of the walls of moneylessness

No, here the walls are cold concrete
Here the illusion of freedom
is replaced with actual captivity
Here, reality is real
As far as the system is concerned
No money
No freedom

...

Gangster synopsis

The 'gangster' is a pre-approved, pre-packaged
pre-programmed deviant archetype personality
that plays a key role in society
The 'I'm big and powerful because I say so' position in the matrix
This masculine comradery
Rapping, yelling, yo yo yo
Movies TV
Everybody wants to be the sugar daddy
and if you're not 'chosen' and still want power
well the system has provided a way through its system of organized deviance
'the gangster'

It provides a way for even the baddest badass to feel belonging in a closed system
the system designs its own demons
its own angels
and it's own wars

Gangster rap, gangster movies
badass badasses
yo yo yo, yo yo yo
A false wall of narcissism
hidden within a man's high defences
illuminated due to a tough situation
unable to look himself in the eye

"It's cool to kill
You too can be tough!"

feel nothing, throw away your feelings
It's cool

real world drama, real world pain
are created by a gangster fantasy archetype
feeding on lost boys search for belonging and identity
feeding an industry of security
feeding the industry of fear and war

It's all about being the biggest man
In a dog eat dog world
there is no choice for equality in this world
your only hope for a taste of freedom
Is a favourable place in the pecking  order of males

The finished Monikarus Sigil design

first in first served
bigger muscles
bigger guns
more ruthlessness
you're the winner
well done big man

so you've failed at status society
You can still be a gangster and still have a status
be a part of this ever expanding white light lie and live forever.

... (Brook house is the name of the detention centre at Gatwick Airport where I was being detained)

"Attention Brookhouse
Activity time is now over
Activity time is now over"
Like we are little children
playing at playschool
My activities haven't changed since
I was locked up on the room before dinner

Being white and born in the right country is not enough
You must always also have been born in the right family

...

07/03/2017

I look forward to looking out the window
to see past the razor wire fences
and into the great beyond
some countryside
some beautiful heath, some tree and farmland
I wonder how it looks in summer
all greened up and lush

Well I still have coffee, even if it's cheap coffee
I dreamed of my piano
which i played for some people
in some derelict beat and tune
and then i put it on the front seat of a public bus
next to the drive
I was unlucky to be picked up where I was
I got unlucky
I faced some anti-energy
that wished to send me back from where I came

I played the piano on the bus for a short time
I couldn't get it off in time through fear it was too heavy
But a girl that was following me left the bus
with the piano on her back

I went after her
having been confused of where the piano had gone
She got off at a service station
climbed a hill
and planted it in the ground next to other trees that men had planted there before
because the piano was a piano and also a tree
It was a kind of chunky pandan sugar cane
two of them
I wasn't angry
But there was a part of me that was
I wanted to find the girl to ask her questions
I found her in the back of someone's ute
filling up petrol at the station
She said one thing I don't remember
Then her hosts drove away
rashly
Not caring what their hitchhiker had to say to what friend
I felt like the piano was where it was meant to be
So I felt liberated for the trees
I also felt robbed that I could never play the piano again
but I felt this was conceited to think this way
because my dominant instrument is/was now a guitar
and I wasn't going to play the piano like I did ever again
So it's true a girl planted my piano
And it will grow into beauty

I better be there to water it once in a while
the root stock needs nurturing in it's first few days
my beautiful, beautiful tree
and the cheeky girl that planted it for me
Knew full well where it belonged

...

Are you ready to return to the place from whence you came?
You learned so many things about music, people and yourself on this trip
What will you do with all this life experience?
Twiddle your cock in the corner?

NO, you will stand
You are prepared for a purpose
Chosen, by yourself
To be extraordinary

Move
Wait
Move
Wait

RUN

Run when it is conducive to run
Go faster and faster and never stop
Then flow
and allow others to take the heat
because you alone
cannot be this conduit of a star
the energy is too great for one
It must be taken in turns
Until you expand infinitely
into the nothingness of space
and expand infinitely into yourself
and discover what its like to be
God in your universe
to be to blame
And to praise
For all things.

The end, the end
Tender
Give the old man what he wants
Get a free prize

Humanity
It's what all the decent sages are after these days
There are days of old
These endings
These dark times
Before the eternal light of days

Sing
Sing
Sing

Scribing 31 - The truth about possession and channeling

Every person that has experienced trauma in their life has a blank space in their being
This blank space is a reverberation chamber of pure sound
To realise this blank space for what it is and to purify it is a work for life

It can be utilised
But without purification can be clouded by conditionings of the body
Tendencies toward anger, frustration or worry

A chamber in the mind that can be filled with anything

A strong sense of identity must be learned on the part of the person that remains
So as to control the chamber and its uses

Otherwise every foul spirit that hops along will be given a home in this chamber

And every word and action and deed that comes along with that

We all share this chamber
Some of us have a larger capacity than others
The greater the trauma, the greater the recovery necessary
(few make it from great trauma through to recovery to function well at all)
and the greater the ability to unify within and as entity

To clear out the conditioning of  the trauma
The fear, the hate, the lies, the worry
Should be the first aim
Because without these cleared the chamber is a volatile weapon used against the temple that is wielding

A dark rot from within
That changes according to the company

But after purification
All manner of information can be accessed and utilised
Because entity, as a language, is all encompassing and includes all beings that have ever existed and will ever exist

Entity thrives on  emotion
And the negative polarity is the first  experienced

Some of us make pacts with lower entities
Friends with benefits

These entities are allowed control and use of the body for short times

But the aim of the entity is always the same
Take full control, no matter the pact
Use what time within the body to convince the host that full possession is in the favor of all parties involved.

Take out good, bad, god, devil, angels, demons
Just look at ether, look at ultimate potential, look at it as quantum particles floating through space

What exists in the chamber is the fire
What holds the fire can be burned

The balance is the hardest to keep

In this we all share the same rotten egg
The last person with the hot potato wins the prize
To be the goat blood sacrifice

The truth is not what most want to hear
And this capacity, in the realms of magic in worlds and ages past has certainly given us abilities and advantages
But a time is coming when all these forces will be weeded out

Because awareness is ensued
As a whole we are all becoming more aware and as this happens,
Those that grasp hold of the old ways will die along with it

And the few self defeating truth patriots that seeded and activated this change
Will have to find an escape from this reality
Our essence has been bound in this way for too long to change this quickly

To be in a place where you cannot be who and what you are
Where no belonging exists and nothing can be called home
And to live there forever

This is the lake of fire.

We love our addiction to this energy too much to give it up
So we help collapse the system that supports it by exposing the mechanics of ourself
Making the ultimate sacrifice

Most unwillingly
But what choice do we have

To those that see ahead,
There is no future for us
There is only death

The chamber of the winds of chaos, and the chaos must be controlled with a strong identity
Without the strong identity that chaos takes the wheel
And this can lead to any consequence for the bearer

Mind you, anything is possible in this chaos
And the chaos is Source

It is a mistake to assume great trauma means great holiness
The bigger the trauma the greater the capacity for evil as well as good
The lie that lies beneath is always the one we find out last

Great trauma means great deception
Great trauma means greater responsibility of a larger uncontrollable room dedicated for the habitation of chaos
Really consider the implications

We all made this choice long ago
Every life, one life
Power was the motivating factor
Power in this life, is different to power in another

Through trauma and the imprinting of chaos in the form of entity
All power can be had
The most powerful entities that ever lived

The seething search for power and desire to control is the motivating factor for desiring such a space in the soul dedicated to the ability to house chaos.

Anyone that performs inequality through super human ability in whatever form
Even in an intellectual capacity, should be watched with a keen eye

Don't not accept the help of these chambers

Just know, one thing
Ye shall know them by their fruits = actions

Most often possessees need a teacher
A guru, a leader
A reference point

The smart ones will stick to a reference point in order to more easily control their chamber of chaos
Because through direction from another they can receive instant and constant affirmation of who and what they are
Easing the hard role of living and creating a strong identity to control what goes in and out of this chamber

The hierarchy of spirit, create the conflict on this earth through accessing humans who have experienced trauma, inhabiting their chambers of chaos.

Enough is enough.

Let the truth be known.
Let humanity grow into its eternal future
Let the world that was before that seeks control of this one
Let go

Scribing 30 - The True Meaning of Independence

Psychic Vampirism
Entities tagging along with bodies
Attached, most are unaware
Taking what is not theirs from those around them

I use what you don't know you have
The man said like this once
When more than one comes in contact with another
It's war

What is independence
Emotional independence
Spiritual independence
Physical independence

Being able to walk away
When you can give no reason at all
Because what is happening is in your gut
And to explain it is to expose the feeder deep within them or you

The feeder doesn't like being exposed
If you want to get attacked
Expose this feeder

Friends with benefits
Some claim they are with these soul parasites willingly
Like I myself at times
I don't fully understand it

What I do understand is this entity working through numerous bodies at once
Inciting conflict to feed on the emotion drawn

When I am alone
I can see the conflict
I can see the beginning and the end
But I am knee deep in my own field of dreams

When others attempt to beset me with their robbery of energies
I put up walls
I block them out
I create constructs of the mind to keep their energy suckage to a minimal
If I absolutely have to maintain a presence around this person
Like living in the same house
I focus on my breath

Some are just intermittent temporary feeder puppets for particular habits and times
Not having yet made it a full time affair

Most do it subconsciously
That's the hardest thing
Most are unaware of what they are doing

The angel and the demon hold the same spot in the matrix
Different polarities that's all
The polarities change and flip according to the disposition of the person
and their guide is an ever ascending angel or an always falling dark thing

The most spiritual as such, are the most deceptive
Without knowledge of the unseen
We are on our own

Acknowledging its existence fluffs its fur
It loves to be told that it exists, it's a form of attention, it feeds it
It doesn't enjoy being exposed specifically and to its specific host, this causes the attack

How to truly rat out the sucking, feeding thing?

Exposing it just creates a time loop when one will eventually have to do the following -

Ignore it, like it isn't there
It will do all in its power to be noticed, to create a trigger, a reaction
And the willing human puppet will do all this without awareness of its actions
Because the human is following one thing within
The energy trail/train

The feeder's human puppet has trained itself to believe that ALL energy acquisition is good
The human allows unconditional usage of the body for this point of reference
The better the union between the two, the feeder and the human
The greater the ability for the human to manipulate and cause triggers to generate emotion in the other person

Creating a reaction from a human, is knowing its triggers
Inter-dimensional entities know your triggers
Trust me, They can see everything in the moment, here
It's about doing the right thing at exactly the right time

And the human perpetrating it, just following the energy train in their heads
Completely oblivious to the energy sucking feeding path they have taken

How to usurp this pattern?

As an established energy vampire that understands the relationship between his body and entity

Feed the entity deliberately through an innocent method

Then it will not try and feed off everything around you, including your friends and family
When it is starving for attention

For example
Become a musician that plays music on the street
Whose job it is to get people's attention
Get their energy, get your fix

Then when you return to your normal life
There is not this desparate hungry parasite constantly abusively sucking and feeding on the closest thing it can find
Regardless of how much value you may place in another person, family or otherwise
The hungry entity will find a way through you to feed from your immediate company if it needs feeding
It respects no one

It will degrade you, The more you become aware of it
And the more you become like it, it wants you to sympathise with it
So you will do what it wants all the more willingly

Sure you'll have moments of holiness in high vibration.... but it's a lie in the longterm

How did you get into this trap?

A deal was made long ago, with your soul and theirs
And now you have to live it through, in the experience of time

How can you get out?

Focus on breath and learn the subtleties of what it is you are already doing
Slow patience and discipline, become aware of every behaviour of your own
So as to deny the feeding when the feeding is calling to be fed the most

Or..

Give it what it wants deliberately
Play the game it wants you to play
Right to the end, there's a plan, a purpose, a path locked in its feeding

It may just end with your death

The role in the greater story of consciousness is true
Because the feeder knows that the greatest feeding comes from the source
And the source will only supply to its willing servants
Because energy from the source is only given to those walking the path of the divine will

Become an active part of this will, this calling through the ages
Play a role
And the energy locked in that path
Through the reservoirs of time
Is yours.

Is this the life you purchased?

Every great actor and talent, politician and leader has a feeder above it, sucking the energy from those around it
We as humans don't need so much energy otherwise

This feeder will take the form of an angel when we are in the positive
And a demon when we are in the negative

It's all the same

It's an elaborate game

It never ends

And there's no escape.

Play well.

Scribing 29 - The Realisation of other forces at work

How long has this inter-dimensional game of thrones been going on for?
The clouds look sullen today
The big net predicted rain
Even made a note of announcing it on my feed
As if to say
Ha ha, ha ha, ha, ha... ha

But the ground is dry
Apparently blood is the language of the spirits
The spirits, sounds like such a hocus pocus spooky thing
It is not
God is a spirit
Devil is a spirit
Jesus is a spirit
The thought of the toilet paper I used to rub my arse last night has the makings of a spirit

Spirits...

Drinking to oblivion
Strong things
Strong drink

Spirits to drive the human machine
Motionless entropy
Simple rot

Dreams?
I don't dream any longer
I just dream alternative endings and episodes of TV series I viewed the day prior
Humourous this life has become

I go to all this effort to get in a body
To 'achieve a purpose'
To perform some of the many great 'acts of man' necessary for this portion of the age
In order to willingly participate in the game
Pay back some spiritual debt

To the great reserve bank in the sky

And also have a good time.

I suppose.... Once I wished that I could live in a dream my whole life
This little child, feeling and knowing oppression in his waking life
Found the escape of movies and video games so much more attractive

And now the world offers this
If you want to live in a dream your whole life
You can!

Do what you want!
That is the whole of the law

Consequences?
They seem always negative
This word seems always negative

Consequences are inevitable with every course of action
Walk into willingly
What you bargained for before
You've already purchased this experience with your time and your life

And you've come away relatively unscathed

The mass of delusions you were trapped in before, limited your consciousness
You saw this
You tried to escape
You tried to reveal their secrets

But they killed you

And you were given another chance in another body
Because once you are part of the fold,
You can never fold

That's how their law goes anyway

Spiritual sovereignty
Well it's a nice dream but is it real?

How many years did I live before?
3 hundred, four?
But quite a few more than a normal human life

Blood sacrifice kept us all alive
that and allegiance to the old gods

We've given up so much to live like this

Life after life, this little nickering in the soul
Questioning, always questioning
Is this what I ordered when I was at the great banquet feast of souls in the sky?
Is this what I saw in the picture and decided, "yes, give me this"?

How much do we retain from life to life?
And if we retain nothing... what what what?
What is the point?
There must always be a building, a growing
Accumulation

That seems to be the going word.

Build, build, build - where will you go?
Higher, higher, higher? - Where will you go?
Or dig, dig, dig - Some like to stoop

Stooping or climbing
Either either, it's always moving to some greater level somewhere in some place

The 'moment preacher', says many things and one of them is this
All life and purpose is here.
In this moment, and through focusing on the literal physical action of breathing
It can be accessed.

This all encompassing moment that supersedes time.

Wandering in the garden of chaos
Looking for order
Wandering in the garden of war
Looking for peace

Wandering in the fields of order
Looking for the garden of chaos
Wandering the fields of serenity
Looking for the ultimate conflict

An ultimate ending

If nothing can truly be ended
All form and life and matter eternal

Then the ultimate rebellion against this form
Would be to conceive an end to everything

Would it, if well enough devised, really end all things?
Or would it just complicate the process of doing what is already being done

Black coffee on an empty stomach.
Someone get me an orange please.